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Assalamualaikum,

Saya di rumah sikalang! Horehh! Study week tak terasa macam study week pun kan. Tak baca buku pun, sentuh apatah lagi kanda. hmm hmm Malas gila Ya Allah.

Allrite!

I wanna express something about one thing that I've think a year ago till now. The simple thing that all people thing in this world. It's about CHANGE. Simple word but Hard to do. Yes aku dah bertudung for almost a year right now alhamdulillah. But sebagai seorang manusia,kita sentiasa terfikir 'kita nak jadi PERFECT!'. kan?

I start to think all of this thing since my dearest sister that I loved, Rusna came back to Malaysia for 3 months ago. I always saw her,wearing socks,hand socks,loose shirt,loose jeans or skirt and yes,covering her chest with herPERFECT HIJJAB!(bidang 60). Now dia dah balik sana. Everyday aku rindu dia. Aku pun taktau kenapa. Sebak ja rasahati when I think about you. berayaq habih mata. :) I'm wondering when my turn will come? Where is my hidayah Ya Allah? I need your hidayah!

Aku mengaku selama aku hidup 19 tahun di muka bumi yang Dia cipta ni, aku tak pernah nak constant in my solat even in my iman. Kadang-kadang hati ni sebak bila fikir bila nak berubah. and just a click, hati ni dah lupa about that. Betul la kata orang,iman tak diwarisi. Iman jugak boleh naik turun. But me? Suka buat benda yang Allah larang,tengok movie oreng puteh,not cover up my aurah perfectly,tak jaga cara cakap and bla blaaa. In other words, always having mazmumah attitude. Tak jaga mata, tak jaga hati, tak jaga tangan and shoo on.

WHEN IS MY TURN? I NEED IT URGENTLY ! Sapa takmau berubah kan? Tapi i don't know why hati ni tak tetap. Buat maksiat dengan hati. Buat maksiat dengan mulut duk mengata kat orang. Hai Ya Allah. I wanna be like my sister! not one day but now. But when? hmmm.

To my sister,

Adik taktau kenapa setiap hari adik I'm thinking bout you. Nak kata rindu,rindu. Tapi kenapa kena sebak? hihi. I love you. Dekat depan meja study adik ada dinding kan? And kat situ adik ada lekat satu kertas yang tertulis, 'KALAU KAKAK BOLEH,AKU PUN BOLEH'. As my strength. :) You are my all. And your all is not my all. my all is mariah carrie. hihi. SALAM. Jumpa kakak bulan april ni kat sana!insya-Allah!